If you haven't realized it by now, I'm not cool. I'm anti-cool. I don't act cool, I don't play it cool. Cool is not for me. I'm just me. You know how sometimes people act unfazed by situations and act like they are not bothered by anything, when quite the contrary they are bothering by so many things? Well that's not me.
I don't represent anything that is nonchalant. What I don't understand is why people try to hide their emotions or hide who they are? I imagine that it's to protect ourselves from humiliation, disappointment or numerous other things. I understand that egos and hearts can be quite fragile and we must protect them always. Or at least that's what we've either learned or have been taught.
I am not one of those persons. I never hide behind emotions. If I love you, I will tell you so. If I feel uncomfortable, you will be able to tell. If I'm angry, tired, happy, excited or other emotions, you will know. I will not cause a scene but I know that I've never been a very good liar, especially because my eyes and body language will give it away. And of course, lying is wrong to begin with.
Not hiding your emotions may be a drastic idea but I'd rather gamble everything (ego and heart included) and be happy than hide behind emotions that are not genuine and always wonder "what if."
When showing emotions have caused me sadness, it's ok because I'm resilient. Even after being faced with disappointment, I never stay down for too long. I know I'm a decent person and I'm lucky that I have family and friends who love me, so filling my head with negative thoughts about myself during those sad moments, is not going to happen. Why am I going to be my own enemy?
But then there's those moments that are the exact opposite of disappointment. Showing your emotions can open other opportunities. If you are happy, your demeanor will be contagious and others might perk up because of you. That's just one example.
Being more open with your emotions may not be for everyone and that's ok, but this girl wears her heart on her sleeve. So when you see me, please be kind and I promise that I will do the same.
Priscilla Rice is an actor, poet, mother and aspiring samba dancer. She has appeared in several plays at the Latino Cultural Center and helps coordinate a monthly spoken word event at the Oak Cliff Cultural Center. She studied Broadcast Journalism at The University of Texas at Austin and has worked as a radio news/traffic reporter and assignment editor for various television stations. She currently works as an interpreter/translator. She is originally from Crystal City, TX and resides in Dallas with her son, Leo.